Seems that I'm becoming more and more materialistic... Wanting to buy stuffs which is on the high-range side... I had more and more desires... Those unnecessary stuffs.. Say, a hp and a multimedia player which cost over 500 bucks each, a dvd player, a microwave oven, a pc, shoes, etc.... Wasnt like that in the past... Had the working society changed me?
Wanted to reward myself... But oh well, I dont really need all those stuffs right? Do I? Perhaps I need to start saving now... Since, I'll have to support my brother in his poly studies from next year onwards, I mean, that is if he manage to get into a poly... But, can I just spoilt myself silly just for this year??? There's the devil and angel inside me fighting and it seems that the devil is winning....
Deep down I wanted to be a baby, a spoilt, willful girl, but environment dont allow... Was "trained" to be independent, practical and mature since young. After all, I'm the eldest... Had to save up to buy what I want, there's no such thing as getting mummy or daddy to buy or stretching hands out for money from them.. What you want, you'll have to work and earn for it. It is a good practice, I grow up never asking them or even others for things, I believe in getting it myself. Hence, I never tell others what I want and wish for...
Being in a tradtional-thinking family, communication is 1-way traffic... I can only listen, I cant say out my opinions. As time pass, I donno how to communicate, how to express myself. Hmmm... To think that my kindergarten teacher thought that I was autistic. I would always sit alone and never join the others kids, coz I donno how to interact with them. I'm a good listener, as trained... I'm still learning how to express myself, my feelings... Hope that I'm getting better now? Haha...
Ok, donno what I doing... Just kept on typing what I think and feel.... Time for me to get back to tidying, took leave to do spring cleaning, not blogging.