Had you ever experienced that lost and depressed feeling when you need to find someone to lent you the shoulders or to cheer you up yet you couldnt? It was a tough day. Went out of the company almost in tears. Worse still, I missed the company bus so I had to go back alone using public transport. Almost cried out in public. The frustration, the depression, the pressure, the lost, the hurt, is making me losing it. Wanted to call him and but i couldnt pick up my courage, what if he think I'm a bother? What if he feel that I'm sticking on him? I'll not jeopardize our friendship. Ended up sms-ing and calling others. Minus the hi-and-bye friends, colleagues, and some 'cant afford to cause misunderstandings' friends, cant be trusted ones, etc, I realise that there's only so few of them that I trusted to call. Called a couple of buddies and friends, but ended up in dissapointment. Thanks JH. But I cant get over the thought that you'll get scolding if I drag you to accompany me, guess I'll not feel better then. Maybe worse? Coz I caused it... Caught a cab, but if you ask me to squeeze into the MRT and endure a 1hr plus ride home at that peak period, I might just kill someone or jump down to the tracks. The whole journey isnt better, my mp3 die out on me, that chatty cab driver kept trying to strike a conversation, that stupid jam everywhere, the super freezing cab... I almost wanted to jump out of the cab but I simply cant imagine myself strolling alone at PIE or CTE... Endure... I stare at the window, fake to be asleep etc... Dad called and question where I was, simply lied that I was on the train but he too smart for that. He ended up questioning me like a suspect; how I wish I could just hang up the phone on him. I'm your daughter, not your suspect. I know you care but please... I need time alone, I need my freedom. Having a cold war with him again. He's not being understanding, I'm sick and tired of all that. Yes, I had my wild last time but I guess I had enough, I'm now trying to be / am a goody daughter. Isnt that enough?!?!? Went to update my bank book and a bloody idiot in front of me, walked out of the queue to the ATM and simply walked back and cut MY queue. I had enough! Went all out to reason and quarel with that idiot! How could he do that!!! I'm easy to bully is it?!?!? He got the hell out of me, blame his luck. I finally won and he walked away, suddenly the thought that I might be beaten up somewhere scares me... Went to somewhere crowded, might be safer there... Hence, walked to AMK HDB Hub to shop around. Was starving but no appetite to eat anyway... Went window shopping but ended up buying lot of stuffs. Retail therapy really helps, I feel so so so so so sooooooooooo much better but the wallet is crying. Plan more OT... Might just go back work later, provided I can drag myself out. I'm so damn tired. If I go back work later, I'll be working for 2 weeks without rest in a row. Dying... Time to hit the bed else I cant wake up in time...