I had another blow today. I was happy that I received a call this morning asking me if I can start work on monday. Of course, I grabbed it. Was thinking that I finally managed to get job. BUT!!!! I received another call in the afternoon saying that they were sorry that they had chosen another better candidate for that job. My heart just sank upon hearing that. Sank in depression. Gave me hope and robbed it away from me all in the same day. It's not the first time that I got this kind of thing! 2 different companies giving me the same thing. 1 said that there's some recuitment changes and will call again to confirm my employment and they never did and now this....

I was outside studying when they called. Figuring maths was the last thing on my mind then. Packed up and went off. Walked around in a daze, thinking why I got this kind of crap. Isnt it bad enough that I couldnt find a job after months and months of searching? Now, they are playing a stupid damn joke on me? Walked around and I ended up at Fairprice... Ha... Wonder why... Anyway, bought alot of junk food... Got home, tried to calm myself down. Had a super long bath but it just dont do any good. Locked myself in mu room pretending to sleep. Got hungry and I realise that I had not have my lunch. Had cup noodle and was still hungry... Went for the fridge and ate ice cream. Before I knew it... I've finished almost half a tub. Ate some of the junk food as well. Chips, biscuits, bread etc. Great appetite... Simply keep eating... Regreting it only after eating all those stuffs. Hate myself for being such a 'emo-eater'. Wonder how much weight will I put on after all these food? Going to undo all those. Perhaps I could only undo less than 1/10 of the 'damage' done but is better than doing nothing. Aim to lose weight yet I'm doing this... Arh.... I'm making myself worse now. Feeling real real real lousy!!!!!

Kicking myself hard now. I'm back to square one or maybe moving a few more steps backward. But what else to do but to look forward? Send out more resumes, focus on catching up my studies, kick out my laziness and exercise more, control my emotions and food cravings. Isnt that the only way out now?